My personal best

So 2 weeks has gone by and I think the reason why I've put off writing is because I fear that what I'm writing isn't important enough or intriguing to anyone but me.  Then I realized that I'm not writing this for people's approval or compliments.  I'm writing so I can get it out of my system and put my words into action.  If what I write can help someone then that makes me happy and it's an extra bonus.
2lbs in 2 weeks are not good stats but those are my stats as of today.  Not the best but it's something.  I've been working my butt off but I've been sabotaging myself with the weekends.  Last weekend I ate out with friends and had chicken wings and fries.  Then had some dessert the next day.  Self sabotage!  All that hard work so the scale can go down and then back up again.  This week I did much better and it's the weekend again.  Ah!  I ate an early dinner (small bites of dessert included) but I resisted to eat anything afterwards.  Yay me!  I'm proud of myself for not giving into the cravings and hunger pains.  One small step forward.
I decided that a small step forward is better than stumbling backwards.  I tend to trip myself up by my own self doubt and petty excuses.  "I walked the kids to school and back so that's enough exercise."  "It's the weekend so I can cheat a little."  "A couple bites won't make a difference (then a couple bites turns into eating the whole thing)."  "I've worked so hard and I'm not losing enough weight.  Maybe I should give up."  I could go on and on but then this whole post would be a list of my excuses.  After thinking all those things I decided that I needed to tell myself to shut up and work.  I'm pretty mean to myself but it's so true.  I need to banish all those negative thoughts and get to work.  Stop making excuses and stop giving up before I even really tried.  Yeah, I might not have lost the weight that I wanted to but I've been more active and lifting more.  I feel like I have more definition in my arms and legs.  My shorts are fitting a little looser, which reminds me that I need to get a measuring tape and take measurements. 
I've been thinking of my glory days (not that I really had any).  I've been thinking of when I was 20 years old and training.  I trained for only 3 months and entered my first powerlifting competition.  I was the only girl in my weight class and division.  I lifted "raw" which means I lifted without assistance from other equipment or gear.  Just me and my leather belt that my coach made just for me.  I was the shortest person there.  I had doubts and figured I wouldn't place because I had injured my hamstring the week before.  It hurt like crazy but I slapped on some icy hot and did my best.  I gave it my all.  I weighed 130.  I ended up benching 115, my personal best.  I dead lifted 241, another personal best.  I was in agony by the time the squat event started.  I went back to the bathroom and used almost the rest of the tube of icy hot on my leg and said a prayer.  I remember my short prayer.  "Heavenly Father, I've worked so hard.  Please just help me to do my best."  That's pretty much all I could ask for.  He couldn't make me stronger than I already was.  That would've taken more months of training.  He could only help me to use the strength I had that day to perform the best that I could.  
I was terrified.  Squat was my best event and my favorite.  I wanted to lift as much as I could but I didn't want to injure myself more.  I stepped out of the bathroom looking down at myself in my unitard.  Boy, did I look ridiculous but I felt good about myself.  I worked hard, put in my months of training.   I saw all these other athletes with their special equipment and special shoes.  I looked down at my regular shoes that I used for cross training and weightlifting.  Just basic shoes.  Everyone else looked like they had been doing this for a while and I was the newbie. 
My number was called and I stepped up to the bar.  I don't even remember what weight I started at but I think it was 230.  That was my personal best at the gym.  I placed my shoulders exactly where they needed to go and I squatted the weight.  Not that it was easy but it felt easier than I remembered.  Okay so that was done.  I had two more attempts to go.  I increased the weight by 5 lbs.  Boom!  I squatted it.  I surprised myself.  I beat my personal best.  I felt good.  Then my coach started yelling at me to come by him.  He told me to ask the judges what the record was for my weight class and see if I had beat it.  I was thinking that there was no way I broke a record.  I only trained for 3 months and I was totally inexperienced.  Then my jaw dropped when they told me that I had beat the record with my last attempt.  I remember telling my coach and seeing how proud he was of me.  Coach Evan Nakachi was the happiest go lucky coach I know but he was tough.  He told me that because I had beat the record I had an extra attempt to raise the record.  I was excited.  I felt even better than I did when I had started the event.  So I added 5 more pounds.  Boom!  I felt like I exploded up as I lift the bar.  What?!  How did that just happen?  My coach's face was gleaming and he told me to add 5 more if I wanted to.  I pretty much was lifting to beat my own record that I had just set.  He told me that if I didn't have to lift more if I didn't want to.  I just thought to myself, "What the heck?  What have I got to lose?"  I added 5 more pounds.  245.  Almost twice my weight.  I gripped the bar and took my stance.  I lifted it off the racks and that 5 lbs. felt so much heavier.  I squatted down and felt the strength in my legs push me back up.  Boom!  I did it!  I couldn't believe it.  Thank you Heavenly Father.  I knew I couldn't have done any of it without Him.  I worked super hard the past several months so I could feel what I was feeling at that moment.  Success. Accomplishment.  Pride.  I had put my mind and body into something and I succeeded.  I surpassed my own expectations.  I still couldn't believe that I had done it even when they presented me with my 1st place trophy (which was more than half my height).  I was on cloud 9. 
So how is it that I have forgotten that feeling.  Not that I've really forgotten but I've forgotten what drove me to get there.  I've gotten busy over the years.  Serving a mission, getting married in the temple, raising 4 children.  Those are all great accomplishments and have I given my personal best to all of them?  If I could give my personal best to lifting some lousy weights then shouldn't I be giving my personal best to the greatest blessing I could receive in this life, my family?  Sad to say but I haven't.  There's so many things I could've done better and time wasted on unimportant things.  I look back and wish that I was a better wife and better mother.  As I'm sitting here typing this, I'm committing to myself and to my Heavenly Father that I will give my personal best to my family and everything that I do.  I know that is the only way I can accomplish any goal.  Do the best I can do. 
Wow!  This went from my weight loss results to a personal epiphany.  I didn't think I would've written this much.  I'll check back here in a week with better results.  Much love to anyone that's still reading.

Back at it again!

Yikes! It's been way to long since my last post.  It's been about 3 years.  So here I go trying to blog again.  So this week is about improving myself physically.
My cousin-in-law Carol started working out again and I wanted to join her.  We're trying to keep ourselves on track. So if you want to join us just hashtag your post #ProjectTub2Tone. If you want to post your accomplishments or advice, just post it on facebook and we'll see it. No judgments, just encouragement. Cause sometimes it's nice to hear someone say, "Good job!" or "You can do it!"
My goals are to run 2.5-3 miles 4 to 5 times a week and lift weights 4 to 5 times a week. I started running more consistently last week. This week I added the weights again. I would love to lose weight but it's more about getting toned and dropping down a size. I know my problem is my eating. I'm not gonna lie, I love food and I love cooking it.  I just need to start loving healthier food more and loving junk food less. That's the challenge.
I'm hoping to get down to my power lifting weight class by next month. I have a long ways to go but I know if I keep at it, I'll get there.
I want to give a shout out to my sister-in-law Emi for making me realize that I've been putting this off for far too long and that I can choose to be happier by improving myself. Emi, you're the bomb.com and I hope I can be more like you.  I admit that I've been wasting a lot of time since I've become a stay-at-home again. I need to get off my butt and make better use of my time. Here's just one part of that.
I'm grateful that Kili is cooperative most of the time.  She is patient with me and stays in her stroller while I run.  We run together after I've finished and I love when we high five after we're done.  She lift weights with me and doesn't complain.
I'm also grateful to Kainoa for his support.  He loves me for me even if I'm not as skinny as I used to be.  I want to be healthier for him and for our kiddos.
So that's it for this week. Hopefully I'll have some results by the next post.  Thanks to anyone that's reading. Hope I didn't bore you too much. Until next time...

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Our newest addition

Here's our newest addition to the family....Kilinoe Kapu'uwai'olilani Sumiko Willing. We checked into Castle Hospital the night before at around 9:30pm. I was having contractions that started at 4 minutes apart but became 3 minutes apart by the time we got there. The nurses stuck an IV in me and started giving me fluids hoping that my contractions would stop but they didn't. I stayed overnight and had to wait until my doctor came in at 7am. I was dreading that and hoping that she wouldn't send me home. The contractions were painful but I wasn't dilated at all and I didn't sleep that night at all. My nurse, Bethany (she was the best) talked to my doctor before she came in to give her a heads up. My nurse came into the room at 6:45am and told me if I wanted to have a baby that morning. I was thinking, "Heck yeah!" So they prepped me and Kainoa got all dressed up head to toe for the operating room. We were so happy and so excited. It was a c-section so everything was very quick. Kainoa said that from the time that they made the incision until the time that she was pulled out was 6 minutes. Kilinoe was born at 8:37 am weighing 6 lbs.15 oz. and 19 inches long. She pretty much is a mini Liko. She came out with curly hair and looking just like her big sister. The kids came with Tutu, Aunty Momo, and Kaitlyn to visit. They were so excited to see her. Well at least Ku'uliko and Kalei. Kamalu not so much. He wanted to be with daddy and tried getting me to carry him but I couldn't.

Here's me after being awake for more than 24 hours. I guess I don't look too bad. Yeah right.

We went home 2 days later, on Friday. Kalei was so excited to see his sister.

Here's Kamalu feeding Kilinoe her first bottle.

Kalei had his turn.

All my kiddies together.

Kilinoe looks a little different in this picture. She's such a good baby. Only complains when she's dirty or hungry. We just love her!

2nd post of the year

I found Kalei like this one night. He was so tired he fell asleep on the stairs.
This is on New Year's Eve. Liko was having fun with some poppers.

The two girls were throwing them all over the sidewalk.

I just thought it was a funny pose for him. He's totally knocked out.

I cut Kalei's hair last week. It was getting pretty long. My dad has been the only one that's cut his hair. I couldn't wait for us to go to Maui or for him to come here so I did it. It turned out pretty good.

Kamalu wanted me to take a picture of him since I was taking a picture of Kalei.

Kamalu likes to pose for the camera. He's got some pretty funny poses.

This month has been pretty busy with school and everything. I've been getting a good amount of subbing jobs. Starting tomorrow, I'll substitute teaching everyday until the 15th of February. Then I pretty much am calling it quits. I'm just hoping that I'll make it until then. If I don't, then that's okay. I just want to make as much money as I can before the baby comes. My c-section is scheduled for February 28th. I'm hoping that I have her before that. I've already been having contractions. I'm trying to wait them out so we don't have any false alarms. I'll be 36 weeks or full term next week Tuesday. She can come anytime after that. Hopefully my next post will be of her and some pics.

Kainoa is on the job hunt. He's applied to several different universities to be the NCAA Compliance Coordinator. One of those universities is BYUH. It's a new position for them since they never had a coordinator before but luckily Kainoa did an externship there. He has an interview tomorrow. If he gets this job, then that means we can continue to live here in Hawaii. That would be nice. He's applied to UVU so if he gets that, then it's back to Utah. I actually don't mind where we end up, as long as we can have a place of our own. We're crossing our fingers and saying our prayers that everything will work out.

Ku'uliko just finished 2nd quarter as a 1st grader. She's excelling in her mathematical skills and her reading skills. Sometimes Kainoa and I are surprised at the words she knows. Like the other day, she was eating a cinnamon roll and she said it was delectable. Funny kid.

Kalei is enjoying school as usual. He's learning a lot and everyday he amazes us at the things he knows. Kamalu is talking a whole lot more. More like singing all the time. That kid is sometimes too loud. Oh well. Now I have to watch my mouth around him. One morning we were sitting next to each other eating breakfast. I did something and said, "Oh crap." He looked at me and asked, "Mommy, what is crap?" I had to stop myself from laughing. I told him to not say that word and that it wasn't good. He pointed to my breakfast and said, "That not good?" I told Kainoa and he started cracking up.

That's about it for us.

Starting the year off right

So it was my goal this past year to read the Book of Mormon at least once. I ended reading it twice this year. I finished at about 9 pm tonight. I had about 1oo pages that I had to read within the week and I didn't think I would be able to do it but I did. I'm so happy that I didn't give up and kept reading. I'm going to make my goal to read it at least twice this year as well.
Another goal is to control my gestational diabetes with diet and exercise. I just found out this past week that I had to go in for a 3 hour glucose test. I've taken one before when I was pregnant with Kalei. I only had gestational diabetes with him and now this baby girl. I failed the 1 hour glucose test and passed the fasting test. Because I failed one, they made me do the 3 hour one. It was killer. I had to fast from midnight the night before and go in and get blood drawn. Then I had to drink the lovely orange flat soda. Then come back every hour for three hours to get my blood drawn. I got my blood drawn 4 times and luckily my veins cooperated. I've had to get blood drawn out of my hand because my veins would turn or they couldn't find a good one. Well I got the results of the test and I failed 2 of the 4 tests so I'm considered a gestational diabetic. Boo! Now I have to prick my finger 4 times a day and report my numbers to my doctor. I just started yesterday and my numbers are great. I'm not taking any medication just eating better and exercising. I'm going to try not to gain any more weight the rest of my pregnancy. We'll see if that happens. I've already gained 25 lbs. If I go over that, then this will be the most weight I've gained with any baby. Yikes! Kainoa and I are making it goal to be healthier together this year. Wish us luck!

Christmas 2011

So Christmas was great this year. It was Kamalu's first Christmas in Hawaii. We all had a wonderful with family and friends.

This would've been our Christmas card but I took it the week before Christmas and already ordered other pictures. Oops! Kainoa's always making funny faces in the background to make the kids laugh. That's why they're looking up.
The girls put on a performance of several Christmas songs. The boys wanted to join in of course.

On Christmas Eve, we went to my Grandma Kaluna's house in Pearl City for dinner with the family. It was good to get together with everyone. The kids had fun playing with their cousins.

Every Christmas Eve, the kids get to open one present and it's always pajamas that they wear that night. Kainoa dressed up as Santa this year in his homemade Santa suit.

Everyone was thrilled except for Kamalu. He was freaking out big time. He kept trying to get out of Santa's lap. It was pretty funny. I had to tell Kainoa to pull down his beard a little so Kamalu could see that it was just Daddy but obviously that didn't work.

I wish I had taken more pictures of Christmas morning. It was so cute. Kalei came up the stairs and went straight to this horse and hugged it. Good thing it was for him. He was so surprised and happy.

Kamalu had just woken up so Kainoa had to help him unwrap his presents.

The kids received a lot of presents, probably too many, but I just loved seeing their smiling faces as they opened them. Kainoa spoiled me too. He got me two pairs of earrings, a watch, a blouse, a purse, and shoes. He has such good taste. And for our Willing Family Secret Santa, Emi picked my name. She got me a purse, an iTunes gift card, and a watch/jewelry set. I also got a panini maker from "Santa" (my in-laws) and a cute shirt and purse from Shaun. Thanks to everyone for the gifts and goodies.

We went to church and the kids sang a couple of songs with the Primary. They were really good in church. Thank goodness. Kamalu even fell asleep.

After church we had linner (late lunch/early dinner) with Nuna and Uncle John. We had some 'ono Hawaiian food-laulau, chicken long rice, lomilomi salmon, poke, kimchee, poi, and haulolo (haupia/kulolo). Everything was soooooo good.

We really enjoyed ourselves. It was so nice to be home this year. I'm so grateful for all the blessings that we have received this year. I already know we'll be receiving a precious blessing next year. 2 more months until baby gets here! Yay!